- UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IN YOUR LIFE
Have you ever wondered what makes you really happy? What is the most important for you? What gives you satisfaction? What allows you to feel true fulfilment? What are your values? And what are your dreams?
Once, I had a dream to buy a house. I remember watching the magazines and read that actor X bought a beautiful house. That was the first time I thought I want to have such house. Despite the fact that I did not have much money, the grain was sew. I turned out to be fertile soil, because the dream quickly sprouted and let go the first shoots. The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that I would make it. Not a year passed when I lived in my dreamt house. I was happy. The first months took me to arrange the interior and garden. I was so absorbed in it that I did not pay attention to other matters. However, time passed and in the end I could slow down, take a deep breath, focus on myself. And it was only then that I realized that the home is not a wall, furniture or place. Home is people. And me and my partner do not connect anything else but credit. It hurt. I cried for two weeks and finally found a solution – I will sell the house! I did. I was happy again.
Today I know that the house meant to be a plaster for loneliness for two. However, the plaster will not heal the wound. He will only hide it. When it got to me, I understood that my overriding dream is to have a good, loving man next to me, then the house will have a completely different meaning.
Think about whether your dreams are the right ones? If so, it’s fantastic! If not, it’s okay. Just look for the most important ones. Those corresponding with you. Write them down.
- TRANSFORM DREAMS INTO GOAL
Unfortunately, dreams are like soap bubbles. When we put the air into the tube immersed in the liquid, they will appear. They are beautiful, colourful, perfectly round. They can be small or large. But doesn’t matter how wonderful they are, all will disappear as quickly as appear. Therefore, in order to be able to keep your dreams for a long time, you have to materialize them. And you can only do it one way. You have to convert them into goals.
The most important difference between dream and goal is that the goal has a specific deadline. There is no guessing anymore. Here begins the activity. In addition, the goal should be specific, feasible and important to you. This determines that you will have enough strength to reach it and overcome the difficulties that will appear in your way. Save now your goal and its deadline. This little effort is the first big step to fulfilment.
- KNOW YOUR POTENTIAL
Everyone has strengths and at least a few talents. Everyone has a huge potential of possibilities that they do not even realize. And in the end, every person can achieve much more than he or she thinks. You too. Think about what resources you already have, what talents you have, and what strengths. List them all on a piece of paper.
To complete the list, ask your closest for supplement – parents, friends, co-workers, partner, etc. They will pay attention to what is invisible or unimportant for you. Now read the list carefully and think how these predispositions could support you in making your dreams come true.
If you did what I asked for, now you already know what potential you have. Now the time has come to think about what resources you will need to achieve your goal. Write them down. For each expected resource, write how you get it. Please note that you can acquire it yourself, for example, by training or finding a person who has that particular skill.
Remember that besides the potential, talents and strengths, you also have something much more valuable. The gifts of fate that you received when you were born. All eight. If you learn how to activate them, you will quickly achieve what you want. You will find out how to do it from my book “TOMMOROW STARTS TODAY or how to design your dreamt future”.
- BUILD STRONG MOTIVATION
On the Internet there is a drawing of a man praying to God: “God please help me, so I will want to act so much as I do not want to”. How often do you identify with this man? How often do you indulge in laziness in spite of your goal?
Have you ever wondered why this is happening?
There are so many reasons for delay, also known as procrastination. One of them are fears. It may be, for example, fear of failure: that it will not be done, but also fear of success: that I will succeed and arouse jealousy. There may be a fear of intimacy: that I will get away from my loved ones, helplessness: that I will lose control or isolation: that they will stop worrying about me.
Besides the fears, the brake is activated by too little motivation. I have done it myself many times and today I know that if I do not ignite a powerful fire of motivation, then procrastination will not burn. And until it burns, I will find excuses to delay or avoid action.
So what should you do?
First of all, understand why you are doing this. Realize what you achieve with this goal, who you will become and how you will feel about it. The easiest way to find out is by changing the perspective of time.
Take a blank piece of paper and put it on the floor. This card is a projection of the future. This is a synonym of the place where you realized your goal. Stand on it now and enter this state. See through the eyes of your imagination what is around you. Look carefully and describe everything you see and hear. Now pay attention to yourself. What are you doing, what you look like, what you are wearing. Look at your face and describe what you see. Then, turn your attention into you. Tell us precisely what you feel.
This simple experience will allow you to believe that you can do it and give you answers for two key questions: whether the chosen goal is good for you and whether the chosen goal is important to you. And what is the most important – if the state you enter is WOW for you – it will give you a powerful motivation to act.
- SET YOUR MILESTONES
Motivation is like an garden. Before the harvest time comes and we can enjoy the fruits, we need to take care of the trees: prune the branches, bleach the trunks, water the plants, spray the leaves, mulch the soil or support the overloaded branches. Similarly with motivation. To lead us to the goal the motivation should burn with a large and straight fire. And for that to happen, we have to take care of it, add wood and protect from rain. Here help us partial goals. Their definition will give us needed wood and a necessary umbrella.
Usually, our goals are so big that just the thought of the work we have to do to achieve them discourages us. They are wonderful but distant. Therefore, the layout of intermediate goals, the so-called milestones, will allow you to focus only on your upcoming activities and quickly enjoy your success. The implementation of these small steps will nurture your motivation and push you to take further action. Now that you know, write down your milestones.
- SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PROPER PEOPLE
“When in Rome do as the Romans” – this is one of the popular sayings and I think there is a lot of truth in it. People like people similar to each other. Therefore, if you want to stand out with something, have greater ambitions, more interesting ideas, powerful goals, there is a high probability that they will be torpedoed. Instead of the expected oh’s and ah’s, you’ll hear from other people: “why do you do it?” “Nothing will come from it”, “What a stupid idea! “. At best, they will stand aside and passively watch, waiting for your stumble. It is sad but true.
Maybe you’ve heard the theory that each of us is a reflection of the five closest friends and that five has the most impact on you. Therefore, if you want to be like them, it’s fantastic! Be together, support yourself and spend a wonderful time. However, if you expect something more, then you should look for new friends. Those who do what you want to do. These new relationships will help you spread your wings and flight towards your dreams. You probably think it’s too drastic. Perhaps. The most important is that it is effective.
Look at it from a different angle. If someone gets ill with a viral disease, you avoid contact with him because you do not want to get infected and that’s OK. However, when someone limits us, minimizes our capabilities, blocks potential, we stay with them and let them kill our dreams. Is this also OK?
That’s why I encourage you to take responsibility for your life and start to consciously manage it, and one of the most important things is to surround yourself with the right people.
- GIVE THE POWER TO MR M
Unfortunately, not only outsiders can sabotage your actions. there is still someone much more powerful. Someone who is always with you. And day and night. It is your inner voice, often called, because of its function, the Critic. He is hidden in the depths of your mind waiting only for the opportunity to give you negative thoughts. He is a master of criticizing, evaluating and discouraging. It is he who paralyzes your actions and puts you into complexes. “You’re good for nothing”, “You cannot do it”, “You do not deserve it”, “You will fuck it up as always” – it’s his constant repertoire. It is he who took the honour to protect you from the “danger” of changes and does it with great commitment. So until you realize that the image he creates has nothing to do with reality, he will still have power over you.
Fortunately, you can overpower him. When it appears again, start singing a happy song aloud. Singing will drown out his speech, and you will gain time to reformulate Mr C into Mr M by putting his words in the mouth that you want to hear: “You are great!”, “Do it!”, “You deserve for all the best”, “I believe in you!”. It is the simplest and the most effective operation. Do it every time you hear his voice. Perhaps at the beginning it will be a bit difficult for you, but after a few transformations Mr C will be defeated and the power will go to Mr M, who will act as your humble servant Motivator.
- BECOME AN OPPORTUNITY HUNTER
However, that Mr Motivator can calmly rule, he needs your help. In my trainings I often say that average people face problems in their lives, aware people instead of problems see challenges, and outstanding individuals look at problems through the prism of the occasion. I want you to be outstanding, so I will tell you a story.
On one winter evening, an enraged customer entered my office. He had the right to do so because he had a huge problem – his employees did not keep the deadline for the delivery of steel. This not only caused the penalties resulting from the contract, but also could result in the loss of the key customer and thus undermine the company’s financial liquidity. During the coaching session, it turned out that my client hoped that in the near future he would become Deputy Managing Director, and this event definitively crossed out the possibility of promotion. After dozens of minutes of working together, something incredible happened. The client transformed the problem into an opportunity and saw the opportunity in this seemingly stalemate situation. He understood that thanks to these circumstances he could present his management skills. He prepared a recovery plan and successfully implemented it. The Board appreciated his ability to “putting out the fire” and praised the determination with which he worked on rebuilding the relationship with the client. After a few months, he received the coveted promotion.
I do not want to wonder how this story could end, if instead of the opportunity the customer only saw the problem.
Remember, whatever happens on your way to the goal, you can use it. It is not that you achieve either success or failure. Just before you get to the goal, you’ll meet several, a dozen or even dozens of failures along the way. This is normal. Give yourself permission and be happy that they are, because it means that you act. Besides information that you are working, failures give you something more, they give you experience and protect you on your next steps from making the same mistakes. Defeats develop you.
Remember, it does not matter how many times you “fall over”, it’s important that you get up one time more.
- TAKE A SPECIFIC ACTION
The fact that you are reading this e-book means that you have taken action. If you did the above exercises, your process of making your dreams come true is already in an advanced phase. Now it only depends on you whether you achieve what you intend to do. Now is your time! Use it!
Very often, we have great ideas, but we lack the courage to put them into practice. That’s why we look at how others do it and reproach us: why not us? Unfortunately, just after this question, we open the bag with our excuses and we answer: “because it’s not our time yet”, “now I have to take care of children”, “I do not know enough”, “I’m too old”, “I’m too young”, etc. Everything we pull out of this sack will keep us in the place where we are.
So now think about what you really want? To stay here where you are only dreaming, or get up and start those dreams come true?
If you choose fulfilment, remember that fate will probably check the sincerity of your intentions and give you a task to do. Then it will turn out whether deeds go after declarations.
Before you can check the fate, I will ask you to think about what you could do today to get closer to your goal. Maybe it will be searching for some information, maybe a phone call or a direct conversation. It is important that you take action today. Even the smallest move is a thousand times better than do nothing.
However, this is not all. Also think about what you could do in the next few days. Plan your activities and make sure you do them. I believe in you and your possibilities. Do what I tell you and you will move to a higher level.
If you need support, remember that I am still here. I invite you to coaching sessions and workshops on personal development. Go to www.wyzszypoziom.pl and find out more.
- EXPRESS GRATITUDE
Expressing gratitude is a very important element of every day, so I want to share it with you.
Being happy is not conditioned by external things, but only what you have inside. What you are filled with. During the day, many things happen to us. Good as well as bad ones. However, it is us who decide, consciously or not, what we take from it to ourselves. And what we take will reflect our emotions and our reactions. That is why it is so important to focus on what is good for us.
The Americans, who probably already examined all the phenomena, also bent over the subject of depression. They wondered what people who are full of life meet on a daily basis, and what meet those with depressive tendencies. The results were surprising, because it turned out that both have just as many reasons for joy as for sadness. The only difference is that people full of life focused their attention on joys, and depressed on sadness. The results of this experience show that it is enough to change the perspective of looking, to see what has just been invisible to us. Just focus on the joys to change your life for the better.
And it is here that gratitude comes to our aid. Thanks to it we look at our life from the right place. It is the gratitude that is the advocate of happiness.
So how to express it?
It is enough that each evening, before you go to sleep, you will answer the following questions: “What am I grateful for today?” and “What good has happened to me today?”. These seemingly innocuous questions direct your attention to what is positive in your life. Thanks to this, you will fall asleep with a feeling of a wonderfully spent day. However, this is not all. After just a few days of expressing gratitude, your mind will understand that it is good for you and it will suggest you great things yourself. It will learn to be attentive to what is best for you and support you in fulfilling your desires. With such an ally at your side, you are doomed to success!
And I wish you that with all my heart!